There’s a deep misunderstanding in our communities about Sabr.
Many people think patience means to stay quiet, to hide your pain, to smile while your heart breaks.
But that’s not Sabr that’s suppression.
True Sabr is not pretending to be okay.
It’s choosing to trust Allah while you acknowledge that you’re hurting.
It’s sitting with your emotions, not silencing them.
It’s speaking your truth kindly, not burying your voice.
The Weight of Misunderstood Patience
How many times have you heard someone say:
Be patient, don’t complain, don’t talk about it?
Those words often come from love , but they can also teach us to suffer in silence.
When you suppress pain, it doesn’t disappear.
It grows in hidden corners of your heart as anxiety, anger, or even numbness.
Allah doesn’t ask us to silence our hearts.
Even Prophet Yaqub (AS) cried until his eyes turned white from grief.
He said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah” (Qur’an 12:86).
That is Sabr: honest pain, expressed with faith.
Sabr With Awareness
Sabr means you feel your emotions, but you don’t let them control your behavior.
You allow yourself to cry, pray, write, rest, and breathe while knowing Allah sees every tear.
It’s emotional intelligence in its purest form: balancing heart and wisdom.
True patience looks like:
• Saying “I am struggling, but I trust Allah.”
• Setting boundaries with people who hurt you.
• Choosing peace instead of reacting in anger.
• Asking for help when you need support.
This is mature sabr the kind that heals rather than hides.
When Silence Becomes Suppression
Silence is peaceful when it’s intentional.
But silence becomes harmful when it comes from fear of being judged, dismissed, or misunderstood.
You don’t have to prove your strength by pretending to feel nothing.
Allah created emotions for a reason. They are not a weakness; they are a message from your soul.
If your heart is whispering “enough”, listen.
It’s not a lack of Sabr to say “this hurts” or “this is not okay.”
It’s self-respect and Allah loves justice.
Healing Through Real Sabr
Healing starts when you stop suppressing and start expressing in safe, mindful ways.
Through journaling, du’a’’, therapy, or soulful conversations, you can release what your heart carries.
Let Sabr be your strength, not your silence.
Let your voice become part of your healing.
Because Allah never asked you to hide your pain — He asked you to bring it to Him.
“Indeed, Allah is with the patient.” (Qur’an 2:153)
If You’re Ready to Heal
If you’ve been silently holding pain, know this: you’re not alone.
Healing takes time, honesty, and gentle guidance and it’s okay to ask for help.
You can begin your healing journey with me through the Soulful Healing 1:1 Program for 1 time session , 4 weeks healing program or 6 weeks .
where faith meets emotional awareness, and you learn to find peace within.
Counseling with Fatima | fatimaabdullahi.com | @counselingwithfatima